Always look for the helpers

Fred Rogers (aka Mr. Rogers of the children’s TV show) often would often share his mother’s advice: “Always look for the helpers.” She reminded young Fred that whenever there is a tragedy or catastrophe, there are people ready to assist. Fred said, “because if you look for the helpers, you know there is hope.”

This is deep! There are two parts to this message. First, there is always someone (or some horse) always willing to help in a time of need. The second part of the message is easily overlooked. You must look! It is in the looking that you find those who see you looking. When you look, you awaken the hope not only in yourself but those you see. Often, when you look, you find someone who did not know they were a helper.

It has a domino effect. It is unclear who is being helped when this is set in motion. This is the same with horses. You can fool yourself that you’re helping a horse when in reality, the horse is helping just as much if not more. Once you have this awareness the world changes. It expands.

The world becomes a playground, not a war zone. 

I recently had a new logo (and new website) designed by Caitlyn, a talented designer. See logo above. We were introduced by a mutual friend. I asked Caitlyn to help redesign my website to include new services and create an eCommerce page for tuning forks that I sell now.

We discussed the design through multiple zoom calls. I told her that I would design the new logo for the website and business cards. My thought was benign. I told myself that I could save money and time by designing it myself. It would not be hard to do. It is not a big deal. It is only a logo. 

My default thinking is an ancient canyon with a dry river. It goes back to this old line: “I can do it myself.” In truth, my mind tells me not to look and stay within, where it is safe, according to the distorted tapes running in my brain.

Thanks to many who have helped me grow, I now question the default thinking. This is a miracle in itself. A new thought emerged from a place more ancient than my delusional thinking. A voice said “find someone who can help you with the logo.”

Caitlyn almost responded immediately to my text message requesting her help. I told her that I would like a new logo that matched my identity and values. A new logo would ideally represent something unique, sound-inspired, playful, complex, modern, nature-based and holistic. 

She said that she would work on some mock-ups and get back to me. Almost instantly I felt relief for 1) be willing to look and 2) finding a helper. It is so simple and so hard to ask for help. For me, I must remember that there is no separation with spirit. And the world that I have created in my mind is an illusion. 

This is my default thinking (thankfully, I know that I am not alone):

My mind tells me that I will be judged if I ask for help. 

My mind tells me that I am stronger if I am self-reliant.

My mind tells me that my request will be rejected, so why bother.

My mind tells me that I cannot trust others.

My mind tells me that I must be perfect. Seeking assistance could be seen as a failure or a sign of inadequacy.

In short, I was wrong! Again! It is almost comical when I read this. Why would I ever believe any of this? It is called being human.

Caitlyn is proof that my mind did not compute the correct answer. She gave me six different mockups for a new logo. When I saw this one, I instantly knew that was the one! It was like she read my mind but only better.

I did not mention anything to her about a horse theme in my request. She added this to one of the six mockup designs. This is the one that I gravitated to. In other words, I did not verbally express this but somehow she knew this was important. 

“Look for the helpers” is meant for anyone as a simple way to remember we are not alone. Life is a mystery. Pour a little mystery into your mind. You may be a helper, or you may receive help. Or both!