Lean In

Too much! I push and push, then collapse. It is not sustainable. Yet, I continue to try this method expecting different results. Technically, this qualifies as insanity. I categorize it as ambitious. Ha!

The mind is a maze, similar to the world. Most days I feel like I am being programmed to “work harder” and not work smarter. I fall for the first, and discard the second.

Enter three miniature horses: Romeo, Pixie and Fluff. They are part of my faculty, as my friend Farah will say. I work with them and bring students to them, offering equine assisted therapy. My seven-year-old student, who I have been working with for two years, met with them for the second session. The first session was an introduction, greet the minis, assess their personalities, and groom them in their stall.

Yesterday, for our second session, I gave my student more background about the minis. All three are rescues and work with the nonprofit, Minis with a Mission, in Ipswich, MA. Fluff is the oldest at 31 years. He had a medical emergency last year with colic. Pixie is the newest addition. She lost one eye due to an infection. Romeo is the leader and will try to lead you. 

Before the lesson, I put halters on the minis, When he arrived, after giving him background, I asked which mini he would like to meet today. He chose Romeo. I asked him to catch Romeo in his paddock but first to greet him with a “horse-centric greeting” by letting Romeo sniff the back of the hand, and rub or pat him on his neck. 

I asked the boy who his mother should work with today. The boy exclaimed, “Fluff!” Off we went to meet our friends. I put the lead line on Pixie and his mother put the lead line on Fluff after our greetings. My student struggled. Romeo ran away. I asked the boy what he could do differently. How could he approach Romeo as a friend? After a couple more tries, I walked Pixie over to meet Romeo and the student. I encourage the boy to talk with Romeo. Let him know who you are and why you are approaching him.

The boy was able to clip the lead rope onto the halter after he stopped trying to chase Romeo. We talked about it briefly. Romeo, Pixie and Fluff are all friends. They trust each other. I reminded my student that the boy is new to the herd. They don’t know him. I asked, “how is it for you when you meet someone new? How do you make a new friend?”

You share! 

Mary Ann Simonds writes in her book, A Horse By Nature, “While you keep in mind the prey-predator model as the underlying the horse’s basic nature, the friendship model is what can be applied to most horse-human relationships, and it depends on the similarities we share with horses as emotional, feeling creatures.”

We go to friends to seek comfort and to be understood. We share the good and bad stuff in our lives. These three minis have gone through many difficulties in their lives. Of course, they are cute. But they are so much more. They feel deeply and have emotions.

So often, we humans avoid discomfort and run away. When we lean into the discomfort, like a friend avoiding us or meeting someone new, the ego screams, “no way!” while the spirit says, “now.” The balance is letting all the voices and pressures of performance take a break, and moving forward without the judgment.

After we clipped the halters, I asked my student if all four of us could walk together, as friends. I held the lead ropes with the young boy. Romeo and Pixie understood the exercise exactly. They felt comfort.

Together we can be in synchronicity and a unit. Alone, we are lost. Remember: my student and I had to face the discomfort, first. I was unsure if this would work. He was unsure if Romeo would let him clip the halter. Leaning in means many things. It mostly means letting go of the expectation and finding the balance. 

Camron Adibi is a horseman, PATH Therapeutic Horse Riding Instructor and autism coach who holds a master’s degree in education. He offers equine assisted therapy, sound therapy and Chi Equine Massage. He has a mission to improve horse and human connections through education and storytelling.