The Herd Outside (ourselves)

Children and horses are a great match. Most children have not completely become desensitized to their emotions. This is not a criticism to the adults out there. This is an observation and a commentary about our society and our practices. The primary message in our education system is this:

Thinking=good, feeling=bad.

Horses are perfect partners for children because horses are more receptive to emotionally available humans (not control freaks). For the record I am a control freak in recovery, getting better at accessing my emotions, mostly thanks to horses.

On a cold wintry day with new snowfall, I had a group of five children show up for a four-week Equine Assisted Learning program. After we did our introductions and ice-breakers to get to know each other, I asked them to do a short survey about how they were feeling at the present moment.

The younger children received some help from their mothers but spoke honestly about their feelings. All of them completed the survey! I did not ask them to share. I announced, “this is a safe place to feel your emotions.” And I added, “tell the horses how you are feeling.”

Without prompting, one of the students asked if she could share her survey. At eleven years old, she shared why she felt multiple emotions and the reasons why.

WHAT!!!!?????

How many adults do you know who can express this detail? Most of my adult friends (and me) struggle expressing one emotion and have no context why they feel this way.

Horses are more sensitive than us (not all). They understand emotions better than us (again, not all). When we become aware of our emotions, the horses become more interested in us. This is for two reasons:

1. We start to set better boundaries and don’t project our stuff on to them

2. We become more sensitive to the horse’s emotions, which may be different than what we are feeling

After we did some grooming of the horses and an introduction on how to lead a horse, we walked outside. Not only did we walk outside, we walked together, in a herd.

We departed the safety of the inside (our limited perception of ourselves), and walked outside ourselves into what could be easily be described as an inhospitable and unfriendly world with cold, ice and danger.

We started our journey walking with acceptance and respect of the two-legged and the four legged. It takes more effort to walk this way, but the reward is much greater.

From Fred Rogers:

At the center of the universe is a loving heart that continues to beat and that wants the best for every person. Anything we can do to help foster the intellect and spirit and emotional growth of our fellow human beings, that is our job. Those of us who have this particular vision must continue against all odds. Life is for service.

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Camron Adibi is an Equine Human Connection Therapist and a PATH Therapeutic Riding Instructor who holds graduate degrees in education and architecture. He offers equine guided learning for children and adults of all backgrounds and ages, who are facing challenges such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or emotional/social difficulties. He also offers “Listening with the Herd,” as an invitation to explore sound, movement and breathing with horses. He has a mission to improve horse and human interactions through education and storytelling. Oh yeah, and Cam is a sailor with a captain's license.